and I don't know why! I think this has been a long time coming! Happiness can't last for ever with me.
I've been on cloud nine for the past couple of weeks with new BF and now I've got to the point where I just don't know what I'm feeling anymore and I'm starting to doubt everything.
New BF and I had a chat last night, or should I say, I was chatted to about the current circumstance we're currently in.
I have been house sitting for the past couple of weeks and new BF has joined me on occassion, however last night the conversation turned to 'how are we going to see each other when I move back to my house'.....I live quite a distance away you see over an hour and a half travel time. Anyway, BF said that we did the whole 'living together thing' a bit too early in our relationship, when really we should have been enjoying each others company occassionally i.e. dates. But instead, we've got to know each other little habits a little too soon.
But for me I felt the complete opposite, I have enjoyed our time together very much and I was under the impression that we were becoming closer, but yet BF tells me last night that he needs his space and he's looking forward to going back to the way things were so that he can do his own thing i.e. his hobbies and friends.
Even though the rational side of me says to enjoy my time left with him, the other heart breaking side of me tells me to push him away as I can't deal or don't want to deal with the idea of rejection. If I'm truly honest, I want to be the centre of attention in a new relationship and I've started to notice that the emails have slowed down - stopped, the night time phone calls when we were apart have become shorter and he's not as attentive as I had hoped.
So what do I do now......my head is just circling for an answer, but I somehow think I won't get one and I'll just have to ride this one out. Let's just hope I don't stuff it all up by shutting him out altogether....I have already turned my phone to silent so I don't take his calls, so I think it's just a slippery slide down hill from here.
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